A Really Nasty Alternate Universe

Who Are These People? And where did they come from?

I've been reading comment boards at the Globe and the Star again. I know I shouldn't do it. But I can't help myself. They depress me. They unsettle me. They destroy my carefully constructed view of my rational, pleasant world. But still I read them. Why?

For the same reason people watch horror movies or slow down to stare at car wrecks, I suppose. It's as if someone has torn a hole in the reality curtain to give me a peek at a really nasty alternate universe. Ninth circle of Hell stuff where people gnash their bloody teeth, shriek, scream and burn with fevered passions.

These are people who can toss off the most sullen, hateful sentiments with the nonchalence of a store clerk remarking on the weather. As if it's normal. And yet I have never heard anyone, anywhere, at any time, express such raw hatred out loud in real life. Like this poster, from today's Globe, "commenting" on U.S. President Obama:

Enough with the experiments.
Anyone heard of the other American icon?
Where is the Tiger?
When the going gets tough they all hide.
ObaMao played golf when the attack happened.
Pathetic Barry took 3 days to read a release to the press like he didn't give a sh!t.
The fraud is over.
The world laughs at Barry born in Kenya.
Dick Cheney for President.
The USA needs a real home born American today and not Barry from Kenya.

YES WE CAN'T.

Hello, Mr. Yes We Can't. This is your drycleaner calling. We have your nice white sheets ready for you, if you'd like to come pick them up. Sorry about sewing the eyeholes shut.

All right, the selection is a bit extreme, but it's not totally out of sync with a good portion of the commentary. And this is a reputable Canadian newspaper in a modern urban centre -- not some rabid little rag in the 18th century Deep South. Does Mr. Yes We Can't talk like this to his mother, his co-workers, his pals at the pub after a game of pick-up softball? Does he have a real life somewhere with a home, a family, a job, hobbies? Does he have children?

So who are these people? Do they disguise themselves as normal Canadian suburbanites by day, mingling with us at the malls and grocery stores? Or do they hide in dark basements, muttering to themselves? Are they the true face of Canada? Or a couple of Limbaugh wanna-be's holed up in a westcoast condo?

And why do I see so much of this stuff in the Globe and the Star, two Toronto-based liberal-ish publications, where the boards are dominated by screed-spewing ideologues? Why don't I find these reptiles slithering all over the New York Times or the Scotsman or the Guardian or the National Post or virtually any other reputable newspaper in the civilized world?

Maybe that's why I keep reading. To learn what, if anything, they are telling me about my world and the people I share it with. Scary thought. Let's hope they only seem to be so numerous.